


I want to play and eat, I want to tear my uniform

by Hydn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 14:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15512262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hydn/pseuds/Hydn
Summary: “How was the coffee? Enjoyable enough?” the ginger-haired boy asks with a grin. His eyes crinkle at the corners. He’s having fun with this, Ben thinks. He stands up from his chair, and he’s so pleased that he has those few centimetres over the ginger-head.“Ha. Ha.” he deadpans. He’s not going to let Hux have this. No. Not today. Today he’s had enough. Hux rolls his eyes, grabbing his own backpack.





	I want to play and eat, I want to tear my uniform

Ben closes his eyes and starts mentally counting from ten to one. It was a technique his mom taught him to help control his anger. When he gets to one and he is still feeling irritated, he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, dragging his hand over his face. He lets his head hit the rough table not so gently. He’s been feeling a little depressed since four days ago and today wasn’t helping his case at all.

University life sounds bad enough without even experiencing it. Let alone the sleepless nights and the instant food, this is on a whole new level. Waking up after four hours of sleep is enough to make you question your life decisions. Having to go through _this_ less than forty minutes later kills your whole will to live. He is ready for whatever his life decided to throw at him today, he always is. School is bad, yes, life is bad, yes, but how bad can they be? Well, looks like kriffing horrible.

Who thinks it is a good idea to have a surprise-test so early in the morning, anyway? Well, Ben could name a few, unfortunately for him. He mentally groans. He just wants to go home, drink some good peppermint tea and finish his book. He’s been trying to finish it for a month now but it seemed like university had other plans for him. He snorted at the thought. Figures university would want it’s students to learn and be educated as much as possible, and in the best ways. Ha! As if. Once you place foot in that cursed building, all your life goes downhill- literally, he remembers two days ago- and the only wish you have is death. No more dreams of engineering, of designing, of being the best doctor that is out there, of opening your own café. Everything becomes a tiring routine, the only thoughts you have are “ _will I get four hours of sleep tonight_ ” only to be assigned a new project that is due the next week or “ _I wonder if I still have that slice of pizza, I_ know _I hid it well_ ” only to find just a few crumbs left and cursing your roommate under your breath; you can’t really punch him, because you know _all too well_ who’s responsible of those delicious cookies going missing three days ago.

In this aspect Ben considers himself really lucky; his parents support him by sending him money for the rent- and not only. They always send more. His father will blame his wife, saying that she probably lost the count and was too lazy to start over, or that she intentionally slipped some plus. But Ben knows he is saying this just because they didn’t get to settle things after their last argument.

So he doesn’t need to share a room with some annoying, sleep deprived, highly running on caffeine human being. He shudders at the thought. No, human presence is the last thing he needs right now. And he still has three more courses and a lab today. Just great.

Sighing again, he grabs his backpack and settles it on his shoulder. It is a two minutes’ walk from this part of the campus to the lab. For a moment, he has a frail string of hope that their teacher won’t be able to make it, but it suddenly vanishes as he realises it was absurd and most likely to never EVER happen. He sighs again. He seems to do that a lot today. God, and the day barely started.

 

 

 χχχχ

 

Lab goes well- surprisingly. No accidents and no stupid questions this time. Truly wonderful. Ben mentally pats his back – _see, you can do it, dude, you can get through yet another day_ – and starts to hope that maybe this day will go better; one corner of his lips turns upwards a little. His joy is, however, short lived, as the next break someone spills coffee on his shirt. He mentally starts screaming. Seriously, what the shab is wrong with this day?! He clenches his jaw and when he snaps his head towards the guy, ready to shout, he sees the poor soul is the newly transferred guy and he already looks scared shitless. Though Ben could imagine why. If the scowl on his face wasn’t enough, his height, paired with the leather jacket, combat boots –and, over all, the all back outfit he’s wearing today – could do the job. He quickly counts backwards from ten in his mind, before telling the kid as politely as he can, through gritted teeth, that “it is alright” (it clearly isn’t), “accidents happen” (no, they don’t) and “I’ll overlook it this time, but if it happens again-“. The other kid nods so fast Ben’s sure his neck’s going to snap and thanks him with a trembling voice and wide eyes before almost sprinting Sith knows where. Ben has to keep his jacket on all day.

The next course is one of the few he shares with Hux. A weird guy, really. They aren’t exactly friends, but they bonded over sarcastic remarks said under their breaths, eye rolls and whispered threats of setting the building on fire if one more stupid question is asked. They maintain a collegial relationship, just enough not to suffocate in this dreadful place. Hux throws him smirking looks all throughout the course and Ben glares at him. When the teacher dismisses them, Hux is immediately by his side.

“What’s with you today?” he smirks.

Ben scowls.

“Nothing’s with me today.” he answers while shoving his notebooks into his backpack. “Literally.”

“How was the coffee? Enjoyable enough?” the ginger-haired boy asks with a grin. His eyes crinkle at the corners. He’s having fun with this, Ben thinks. He stands up from his chair and he’s so pleased that he has those few centimeters over the ginger-head.

“Ha. Ha.” he deadpans. He’s not going to let Hux have this. No. Not today. Today he’s had enough. Hux rolls his eyes, grabbing his own backpack.

“How did you even find out?” Ben continues, making his way to the door. The slightly shorter boy hums following him outside.

“I mean, half the school knows.” He says nonchalantly. “You keeping your jacket zipped just confirmed it.”

This time, Ben groans out loud. A few students passing them greet Hux. Ben is so glad they don’t know him.

“Honestly man, this day is just-“ he makes some motions with his hands for lack of words. “Tell me it’s not just me.” He looks over at his colleague.

“It’s just you.” Hux replies, rounding the corner.

“Wow, I hate you.” Ben shot back.

The ginger haired snickers. “Karma’s got you, pal. What did you do?”

Running a hand through his raven hair, Ben lets out and exasperated sound. “No clue, man.” He shakes his head.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon.”, Hux begins. Ben’s eyebrow twitches. He didn’t do anything, dammit! “I’ll go now, I have that presentation to look over for tomorrow. Good luck, pal, you seem to need it.” He snickers again, waving to Ben and stepping outside. Ben closes his eyes and exhales. Just one more course today. ‘This is so unfair!’ he pouts.

 

 

χχχχ

 

He manages to zone out a few times through the next course. It is boring anyway and he doesn’t really care about the teacher’s dog and parrot pets duo either. While watching a couple of hoopoes dancing around through the window, old memories hit him all of a sudden. He remembers playing hide-and-seek with his favourite uncle, Chewie (Charles is his name actually, but ‘Chewie’ was all little Ben was capable to say back then and the nickname stuck even later), when he was five.

Then the images shift and he’s seven, on his first day of school and uncle Chewie is there beside him, holding his hand while his little self nervously bites his lip and foolishly searches wide-eyed for his parents in the crowd. They never make it. Later, they apologize, saying that the meeting was of urgent matter and they are really sorry they missed the event. Little Ben just glares at them and slams shut the door to his room.

Images shift again and Ben is thirteen, having his first conflict at school – it was the other kid’s fault, of course – and while his parents give him disappointed and angry looks, uncle Chewie takes him aside and asks him how it happened and he actually listens. He listens and then he makes Ben hot cocoa and tucks him into bed as if he were still a toddler, but he says Ben needs to rest for the bruises to fade faster. Ben rolls his eyes but snuggles his cheek into the pillow.

Memories overlap and he is seventeen and – Ben shakes his head. No. Not going there. He hears the teacher dismissing them and he’s glad it is finally over. He packs his things, slings the backpack over his shoulder and steps outside the classroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello~
> 
> I started this story about 8 months ago (lmao rip) but then writing block (and studying) happened. I only now decided to go ahead and post this chapter in hopes that it will motivate me to actually finish the story. I have a tiny little bit of chapter 2 written, so feedback is highly appreciated as it will keep me going and writing.
> 
> If you got to this point, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Have a nice day and see yall next chaper!


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